Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Bed

As i lay in bed.. trying to sleep. I hear a song. You have stolen my heart. By Dashboard Confessional. And i can't help to wonder about BV. We are talking on facebook right now. And I am questioning my love for him. I feel it. i really do. But there is something there that is pushing me away. which is good, but bad. I want him soooooo bad. But the feeling isnt really 100% mutual. So i think this time away from him (until January 6th) will be a good thing. I hope i can come to a reality check and figure out that he and i will never be... Even if i want it really bad. His answer will always be no. v.v
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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousDecember 22, 2010 at 11:41 AM

    Welcome to the blogworld, Andrew! You've come to the right place, I think, for sorting things out. I'm pretty sure you'll find a lot of love, support, and advice (if you want it) from all the folks of all ages that will eventually find you here. Gay Andy plugging you led me to you, and he is a huge traffic source, so I think you'll be discovered pretty quickly. There's a lot of good folks here, and we've all been through one sort of issue or another while coming to terms with our sexuality, so please know that you are not alone! I'll add you to my blogroll, and Follow you if you add that widget to your blog!

    Merry Christmas!
    Peace <3
    Jay in VA
    jayinva.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. waynerDecember 22, 2010 at 5:52 PM

    I don't think sexuality is something that you decide; it is something that you admit. It is about the sexual urge not necessarily emotional attraction. Keep in mind that around 10% of guys are gay inclined, and finding that one out of ten without insulting a lot of guys can be difficult. As for BV if you want him that bad then you must see if he is so inclined and work on it. If he is always interested in girls and is totally str8 then he will just be a good friend. Myself (a retired gay guy) I loved homosexuality when I was 14 and accepted it at 16, but there was no such thing as coming out back then. The problem is at your age being gay and in the closet can make things really awkward around girls. Anyway see how things work out. bfn - Wayne :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 22, 2010 at 11:00 PM

    I could talk for ages about separations and desire to be together. TBH it will really help you acknowledge that your life will go on if you do not get your daily fantasy affirmation. Yes you know you live for those little glimmers or glances from him. I'm not gonna be mean and say give up and move on but be smart and do not put yourself through anguish, if it is unrewarded. You have plenty to offer to people who respect your gifts and talents!
    Be well E-G

    ReplyDelete
  4. EndieDecember 23, 2010 at 12:02 AM

    First I would like to also say welcome. I myself am also a person that just started blogging. I just want you to know though that I am very opinionated. Well anyway. I would like to also say that what Wayner said is right! Sexuality is something that you do not decide you have to come to realize who it is that you are and where your attractions live and then accept them as you should accept yourself. It seems to me that you have already experimented and now you are looking for something more. You know what you like in the way of being sexually attracted to guys, but you have not had the chance yet to have an actual relationship with them yet. I hope that you get that chance. It can be really awesome and teach you the things that I can hear in your words that you are missing.
    Endie
    I have added you and I will be keeping up hope to hear more.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousDecember 26, 2010 at 4:38 AM

    you don't need to marry himbud just get his boxers off and enjoy FFS

    ReplyDelete

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