What i prefer..

Lately I have just been thinking about guys. I have not really thought about girls at all. I don't know what this is going to come out as but i am not sure. I feel like I might be actually gay and not bi, but for some reason to me saying I am bi makes me think people will accept me more. I am not sure. I may have to accept myself being actually GAY and not bi. Waiting out the New Year. With about 12 minuets and counting down left. I hope everyone is having a Great Safe New Years. I have to wake up at 3 to catch my airplane. That does not leave me much time at all for sleep. Oh well, I will sleep on the plane ride and car ride home. Happy New Year to all and much Love from my heart..
Andrew Bennett

New Years Eve

Well, my sister just texted me and said my mom and her are picking me up in a half an hour. I don't know why but I have not even packed my clothes yet to go back to NC tomorrow. I am staying the night at my moms husbands house because we have to be at the airport for 4 AM tomorrow morning. Do you know what that means?? It means I can't stay up for the New Year and I can't go to any parties. This Really BITES. But I need my sleep. I might stay up until midnight and then just go to bed and then sleep on the airplane ride home. I am supposed to hang out with GB tomorrow afternoon-night. So I am going to need to have had sleep so I can stay awake to hang out with him. I do not know. And also my mom will have to bring me back here because my clothes are still in the washer... :p Anyways Love all
Andrew Bennett

Fun Time tonight

Hello. None of you know this but ever since I moved down to North Carolina to live with my mother me and my father have become very distant. But since I am visiting him and the rest of my family here in Massachusetts we have become a little closer. Tonight me and him played pool at a local hotel. It was very fun. I beat him 4 times and he won the last time because I scratched on the 8 ball. I had a great time. We also played air hockey and I won in that too. It was fun. I want to be closer to my dad. My New Years Resolution is to become a lot closer to my father and my step-mom. I love them and I hope that I can visit again durring Spring Break. Love You All
Andrew Bennett

Yes

BV and PR are friends. I have already talked to BV about him. I havn't told him that I like him, however I did tell him we slept together and he was pretty much speachless. By my actions twards BV after him and PR hang out, only at school they don't hang out outside of school, he said don't worry I don't like him like I like you. Me and him are just friends. Also, I have to tell you about one moment that slipped my mind before now. BV slept over my house about a month ago. Me and him were hanging out alone in my bedroom. Well, I wanted to go to a local place that we all hang out at and I was inviting one of my many best friends, and she couldn't go. (these were all txt messages) And then before I txted her back i said outloud then you can't meet my boyfriend. And I looked right at him and he said. I don't care you can say that. And then when we went to bed, I fell asleep before he did, and when i woke up, by my mom coming in and waking me up for church, we were spooning. And since I fell asleep first you know who did that. Thats why I have decided to move on because I always get these mixed signals from him. Thank You all. Love
Andrew Bennett

Yesturday and Today..

Hello everyone. As you may know from reading my blog I am on vacation with my family. Lets start off with what happened yesturday. The first thing I want to bring up is I was at my sisters house and I had slept over there the night before and I had told BV, because he called me, what a surprise, that my phone was going to die so I will call you back when I get home and it is charging. He said ok. Well, then he decides to call me basically every 2 hours. And then when I finally called him back when I got home he was mad that i didn't answer my phone. even though I had told him it was going to die. I don't know what he was thinking. But then my 2 sisters. my brother and my mom and I went out and all we did was argue. It was a horrible idea. The thing is my mom can't seem to take a joke and I wanted to tell her to shut-up and grow up we were all just joking, but i'm glad I didn't because she would not have been happy. And that was basically what happened yesturday. Well, today has been alright. I went to lunch with my step-mom and my sister. It was good. Then we came home and we cleaned the house and here I am now just hanging out pretty much by myself because my dad is at work and my sister is at my sisters with my brother. They are all going to a concert tonight and you have to be 18 to get in so, I can't go. But me and my dad are supposed to do something tonight when he gets home from work. I have no clue what it is going to be but hopefully it will be fun. Love all of you..!!
Andrew Bennett

New Years Resolution.

I feel like this year I am going to make a new years resolution that I am going to actually follow. I still have to decide what it is, however I was interested to hear your New Years Resolution. Maybe my resolution will be to get my life back on track and finish out high school with a bang. Good grades, Great friends, and Perfect times. I am not sure. But, i am very interested in suggestions. So tell me your New Years Resolution and maybe even give me a suggestion... Thanx..
Love Andrew Bennett
 

BV sent me this Via Facebook

BB is Buddy Bennett... aka me.

My step-mom

Hello everyone!! I was talking to my step-mom about various topics before i was going out with a friend, who btw was 4 hours LATE!! and she was like whats bothering you? And I told her about my mom, who i love more than anything, but she can be a real B word, and she was like there is something else. Can I take a guess.. I said Ok. She said.. are you gay. I was amazed that that idea even came into her head. And I just said yes. And so we talked about how i felt my father would never accept it and she seems to think he will. I don't know. I am glad my step-mom knows. I love her just as much as my real mom. She is always there for me and always will be. So.. now 2 people in my family know. My mom and my step-mom. Go figure.. two girls. That was a good talk. Then I went and got ice cream at friendlys.. even though its like 15 degrees outside... lol.

My feelings in Pictures...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B-hVWQnjjM

Please take time to watch this video. Thank You

I figured it OUT!

K guys. I finally figured it all out. Me and BV. Just friends forever more. This time away from him really has opened my eyes to what I really want. I can't be bothering with someone like him who is not sure of himself always screwing with my head. So my feelings have taken a different setting with him. I still love him and he will always be my best friend, but thats all he will ever be to me because i think trying anything more would ruin our friendship anyway. But Just thought i would tell everyone that i finally figured all this mess up. Also i just talked to a girl RU, who i havnt seen in probably 5 years. Since Middle school. She just told me she is a lesbian. And I think that is great. She is starting a blog tomorrow and once i get the URL i will add it here if she wants me to. Please help her through her journey of coming out with advice and other things such as that. I would really appreciate that and so would she as im sure. Thanks All. With Love
Andrew Bennett

Wow. Okay

So. AK actually broke up with her bf. Who was a scum bag anyway. He was "doing things behind her back". I am so proud of her because like i told her she deserves way better. And if i had to choose her or him i would pick her in a millisecond, or something faster than that, she is a great girl who deserves the world, and he could never give it to her. So AK I love you girl and I hope you can find that love like we are all searching for.
Love Buddy

AK

When ever I see AK i smile. In the hallway... when she is on fb. I just smile. I don't know. Its like a good friend, but the thing is we are not that close. She told me i was her first friend when she first came to CHS. That makes me happy, in Ms.Robinson's classroom.. Good times with GB and AK made it better. AK 47. haha. Pull out the big guns. She just made me happier. We just talked on FB. But her bf is in my english class, and I don't care for him too much. I think she can do better. And since you are probably reading this I will leave it at that. Just want to say thank you AK for making my life that much better..

Love all of you. Andrew Bennett...(Buddy Bennett)(AJ Bennett) (whichever you want) I have many names...

YES!!

So there is this guy. Who WAS my best friend. I thought... Well his name is GB. When I told him i was bi, he kind of went away from me and stopped talking to me for a while. About 4 or even 5 months he wouldnt talk to me. So today, out of the blue he talked to me on fb. I was so amazed i had to tell everyone here!! I am so happy he also said once i get back to NC he wants to hang out. Now i know what all of you are probably thinking,,, but nooooo. He is a friend and thats it and thats all it will ever be and i am comfortable with that. Just thought I would tell all of you this because it made me really really happy.!!!!

Thank You

Hello. I am saying Thank you to everyone who has seen and commented on my Blog. I appreciate all of you more than you could ever know. When I started this I never thought that anyone would be interested. I will definitely take your advice and think deeply about it. I have been doing alot of thinking about BV. I am not sure what to do. And all of you that have commented saying i lean more twards guys, you would be correct. I find them more attractive. Again I thank you with the most grattitude.

SNOW

Hey everyone! I am in Massachusetts for Christmas!! Sorry its been a few days since i last posted. Guess WHAT!! We are getting up to eighteen inches of snow tonight! I am excited, however it is very windy so it kinda sucks. But anyway. BV has been talking to me about his ex gf.. I don't know what to do. He knows I love him, and he loves me too, but he is more concerned about his ex. I want to be with him soooo bad. He is in Virginia right now. I get back home on the 1st of january and he doesnt get back until the 7th. And even then I don't even know if he is coming home because he might move back there. And if he does I might just DIE. Well, Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and Hanukkah and Quanza. Love all of you VERY MUCH!

Bed

As i lay in bed.. trying to sleep. I hear a song. You have stolen my heart. By Dashboard Confessional. And i can't help to wonder about BV. We are talking on facebook right now. And I am questioning my love for him. I feel it. i really do. But there is something there that is pushing me away. which is good, but bad. I want him soooooo bad. But the feeling isnt really 100% mutual. So i think this time away from him (until January 6th) will be a good thing. I hope i can come to a reality check and figure out that he and i will never be... Even if i want it really bad. His answer will always be no. v.v

Merry Christmas

I found this picture looking at a friends blog on tumblr. Many of you will receive great gifts for christmas and not even think about them. Just know that the only thing that cancer patients want for christmas is to get better. And I hope that you take time to read this and appreciate the little things in life like health and other things. Thank You This is her blog.. http://maggiewithlove.tumblr.com/

pictures

That first picture is me and one of my best friends Kaylin. And the other one with the girl in it is my sister before my dads wedding and of coarse the last one is BV. Love him to death. but i dont know why...

My current favorite song..

The fear you wont fall by Joshua Radin


Diggin a hole and the walls are caving in 
behind me, 
airs gettin thin but I'm trying, 
I'm breathing in, 
come find me 

it hasnt felt like this before 
it hasnt felt like home...before you 

And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way, 
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could, 
I can't get my mind off of you 

I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it, 
thats part of it all, 
part of the beauty of falling in love with you, 
is the fear you wont fall 

it hasnt felt like this before 

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/the-fear-you-wont-fall-lyrics-joshua-radin.html ]

it hasnt felt like home...before you 

And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way 
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could, 
I can't get my mind off of you 

and I hate the phone, 
but I wish you'd call, 
thought being alone, 
was better than, was better than... 

And I know its easy to say, but its harder to feel this way 
And I miss you more than I should, than I thought I could, 
I can't get my mind off of you. 

can't get my mind off of you

Hello

Hello everyone. This is my first time blogging. I have many things to say about myself so please listen carefully.. I don't know what my sexuality is. Right now i am trying to decide between girls or guys. The only people who know this is my mother and my good friends. Don't get me wrong, if people ask me what i am i will tell them, but i am not even 100% sure what I am myself. There are people i "do" stuff with.. but they are to be unnamed... I will use the initials. They are BV CW and PR. Last night I had an amazing time with PR. But that was the only time we have or will do it.. A one night stand i guess you could say. Now CW is a guy i see frequently. He is the guy i go to when i need it. And that is about once a month.. Lastly BV is someone i really care for and even think I love him. But he messes with my heart and my head. One day he will be all over me "I Love you" and the next day i dnt know. But I think BV is just a little confused and doesnt know what to do about it. All of those 3 people are guys. Next is a girl. CK is a girl who i was talking to. We were supposed to go out to see Yogi Bear in 3D but she ended up not being able to make it. No i was not stood up.. She just couldnt make it. But anyway i am confused and i need to vent my feelings to people. Even if nobody is there to respond. I live in North Carolina USA with my mom and the rest of my family lives in Massachusetts. It is very hard to live 700 miles away from your loved ones. But the good news is I am going there tomorrow!! I am visiting for christmas. I can not wait! Lets see... what else about me. I love music.. All kinds except the screaming kind. Nothing wrong with it, just not for me. Well I will add a picture of me and also BV. The one I love.

Me (left) BV (right)